and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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