How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
