good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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