So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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