I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
