She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
