I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
