She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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