they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
