Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
