remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
