Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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