His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
