I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize