I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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