Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize