so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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