I think i sorta joined a cult last night
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
