I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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