Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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