Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
