Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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