how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
smell my finger.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
