Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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