eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
