At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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