Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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