my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
