I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's official drugs can't kill me
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
