Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
