Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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