Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
