weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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