I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
its not stalking. its research.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
