Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
