maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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