How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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