Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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