have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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