Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize