I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
