Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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