he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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