so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
