who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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