No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
