I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
