That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
