my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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