Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
