I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
