Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
My vagina just clenched in fear
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