We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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