Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
