ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
