yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
