why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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