Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
