Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize