How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
