giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
