i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
